Tuesday, October 7, 2008

YOU ARE ALWAYS FREE TO START OVER



Here's an article I came across three years ago that has caused me to change course when I thought I didn't like the direction I was headed. I am once again on the same road, not as drastic a move as I did back then. Nonetheless, this article is still very apt and I hope it could enlighten some of us who are looking for a fresh start.

YOU ARE ALWAYS FREE TO START OVER. No matter what your problem, when something is not working, you can decide to stop playing. If you are experiencing friction or feeling resentment, your soul may be calling for you to end this ... so you can start that.
This does not mean that you cannot succeed, but your soul may be telling you that the direction you are going is not taking you where you want to be. And by admitting that an aspect of your life is not working, you are freed to begin moving in a new direction that will work.
Before deciding to start over, you may want to explore any personal fears that are motivating the need to begin again. Resentment is a fear-based emotion obviously based upon you wanting someone else to be the way you want them to be. Is that justified? And know that if you are holding on to a past hurt, the other person is keeping you a prisoner in the here and now.
Assuming you can release any fear-based emotions (especially blame) relating to your wanting to start over, the best place to begin self-processing is to explore what is true for you. Being true to yourself is more important than your fear of consequences? When you are not true to yourself you are living in fear.
You also do not want to live in fear of what others might think about you starting over.
Once you have decided to start over, it will be time to stop explaining yourself to other people. It is your right to offer no excuses or justifications for your decisions or behavior. You may want to explain why you have acted in a particular way to those with whom you share a close relationship, but you do not owe anyone an explanation. Excuses and explanations weaken your position.
We all find ourselves in positions in which others imply that we owe them an explanation. Most of us are so well trained that we react automatically and comply with their wishes without thinking. All too often we explain ourselves even when no one has asked "why." It is often hardest not to offer an explanation to a good friend, but why should a friend force you to explain your actions? If your friend is incapable of accepting your rights then maybe she is incapable of relating to you on any basis but manipulation.
To start over also means leaving behind your old ideas about yourself.

3 comments:

Dark Angel said...

"Change is the only constant thing in this world" is one of Einstein famous quotes, its true what the article is saying, there no need for an explanation if the things we do is for the good of oneself and others...its only a fool who usually seeks explanation on things that should in the first place is not be explained.. a common negative trait of mortals..haay..

Dark Angel said...

yeah your right,we dont need to give explanation to others just to please them,because for fools there's not enough explanation to satisfy them...Change is the only constant thing in this universe-Einstein

iamtudence said...

WoW! Thanks Miriam. This is exactly the kind of head start that i am looking into as of the moment.